I am clueless about a thousand things, but one thing for sure, I know myself best. Please take note that I only mention myself. Because I am not sure of my thoughts, and anything that goes along with it. It's true, I can't decipher my own thoughts. I am clueless on just about everything. Yes, I don't know what to do when I have to do something. I'm made to make decisions. But I also don't know what decisions that's appropriate for me. And it's also true that I don't have the answers to the questions that's being laid for me. I am not good in answering them. Yes, I kept saying 'I don't know' which I know, always irritates the nuts out of some people. But that's just it. I don't know. Even when I seem pathetic, it's alright, cause it's just how I am at certain issues. True enough, it's proven, I am a very weak girl. A girl who is not even clear of what she needs and wants. Even if I am, I'm not sure if I'm capable of handling it. I can't even depend on myself. And I'm rather sick of discussing heavy issues because I don't bring any good, let alone bring the matter to rest. So I suck at making decisions and whatnot. It's prolly one of my flaws.

On another similar note, it's true, I am not progressing with my present/future because of the 'past' that I had. My 'past' may not even be a form of past indeed. I can't seem to go on, to shove this same old problem behind me. I am not capable of doing so. I don't have the solutions to this. May seem as an easy problem for ya'll, but that's not how I see it. Definitely tricky for me. However, let's be frank, I do have a last resort. I think I will need the both of you to walk out of my life, immediately at your own quickened pace. It's the best I suppose. After all, despite every obvious factors, why keep clinging on to me? You two know my capabilities very well. Ya'll know what I've done, and what I can do. I bring no good. I have to admit, I'm not cut out to make a good girl/girlfriend. Why dig your own graves? To support my suggestion/solution, you guys have chicks/ex-chicks who are definitely still clinging on to ya'll and might do just about anything to get you guys back. It's not like it's not proven. Plus, how can I, as a so called outsider, be compared to who they once were to ya'll? And as you know, people usually say, go for the ones who love you, and not the ones you love. And if you two think that I am using this whole bullshit as a reason to make ya'll leave me, yes, damn right I am. Cause after all, it's true, and happening. I can't afford to continuously hurt the both of you. So I guess I shall just do it once and for all. And as much as this hurt ya'll, that's how much it's gonna hurt me as well. And I'm taking double the hurt because I've got two parties involved. I'm not sure if all this sounds selfish or not but yeah, what more can I do? Just leave me alone, I'm sure I can survive my own shits, somehow. By the way, this might just be my final decisions. So yeah, no negotiations.

I was just reading Twilight. It's inexplicably funny how in the book, Bella's finding things to do to put her mind off from Edward and whatnot. And here I am, reading that, to put my mind off everything that I don't wish to be submerged in. Geez, life's a joke. Really. And as of now, all I want to do is mope.